In Chanda
(2007), the “Double Edge of Globalization”, the content is mostly concentrated
on describing how globalization indirectly causes various environmental
problems. The issues presented by Chandra are quite
numerous but they all boil to a single fact that there is an relentless
consumption of natural resources like timber or land due to an increase in trading
of goods and services.
Chandra reiterates his
belief many times in his essays that it is possible to reverse
adversity of globalization if the governments take active participation in
improving the situation. Ironically, Chandra also mentions that public policy at
both local and global levels has failed to reverse the effect of deforestation.
This reflects the true scenario on the ground. For example, the haze problem in
the South-East Asia region has continued for over a decade and shows no sign of
bettering despite the treaty ratified by ASE AN and anti-haze rallying calls by the local Indonesian government.
Chandra also mentioned that many international non-governmental
organizations have put in much effort in addressing many global environmental issues.
In my opinion, these organizations have a bigger advantage in resolving these
issues than the local government as they are not bound by local politics or
customs. For example, a local government has a lot of different priorities that
they need to take care of and some of these priorities are in conflict of each
other. If the political support for the government comes mainly from these farmers
or big firms, it will not be proposing public policies against them for the
sake of conservation so as to be remained in power. However, these
non-governmental organization can engage the farmers or big firms freely and dissuade
them from excessive deforestation or mining without the fear of any repercussion.
In conclusion, local governments around the world should collaborate
with international non-governmental organizations to resolve global issues as political
power alone cannot stop the environment destruction caused by globalization.
Yo bro! A concise response here. Your argument was clear and well elaborated. Maybe, you could use some reference to add credibility to your argument.
ReplyDeletesmiles
Ipin
Hey Thanks! I will try to search for them.
DeleteHi Jun Kang,
ReplyDeleteHere are our comments:
- First paragraph was a good summary of Chanda’s article. However, it is irrelevant to your main thesis.
- Ideas were original, well-elaborated and gave examples such as haze issue.
- Main thesis was clear. (Local government and NGOs have a major role to play.)
- Citations of main article were correct. However, he should give evidence and cite sources for the examples used.
- Introduction can be improved. Your introduction needs to be link to your main thesis.
- Good paragraphing.
- Conclusion was good. Your stand was clear.
- The author is Chanda not Chandra.
- There was fluency & cohesion as you use appropriate range of transition words such as “In my opinion,…”
Language
The issues presented by Chandra are quite numerous but they all boil to a single fact that there is an relentless consumption of natural resources like timber or land due to an increase in trading of goods and services.
>>> Do not need to add “an”.
“However, these non-governmental organization can engage the farmers or big firms freely and dissuade them from excessive deforestation or mining without the fear of any repercussion.”
>>> non-governmental organizations [consistency]
“In conclusion, local governments around the world should collaborate with international non-governmental organizations to resolve global issues as political power alone cannot stop the environment destruction caused by globalization.”
>>> political powers
From Jared, Rui Yu and Jeremy